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"Going Beyond Your Edge This Valentine's Day"

By Susie and Otto Collins

There is a lot of hype (and hope) focused around
Valentine's Day-- the day of love and just like
almost everyone else we're on it.  We're committed
to having and creating a great Valentine's day
celebration for the two of us.
Whether you are in an intimate relationship and
with the love of your life or not, there can be a lot
of expectations that never pan out or there can
be a feeling of closeness and love with the people
in your life.
Whatever your current relationship status, we
suggest something a little different for this
Valentine's Day.
We suggest that you go beyond your edge and here's what we mean...
We all have our "groove" that just feels
comfortable, no matter what we are doing. This is especially true in the love and romance department but is in all phases of our lives.
Our "edge" is the very point  where a little
mystery begins--something out of the ordinary
that we may not normally do.
When we go to this "edge" and beyond, we can feel expanded, more alive, have more passion for life and feel more love.
Here's a great example of what we mean...
One of the Valentine's Day gift suggestions
we've seen in media ads is giving a massage
from a local spa. While this might be a gift that
is much-appreciated, what may be even more
appreciated and going beyond your edge is
actually giving each other a loving massage
and sharing touch.
Felicia and Al lead busy lives. They both work
full-time jobs and they have 3 beautiful young
children whom they adore. Felicia coaches
little league and Al prides himself on a stellar
garden and yard.
When they do slow down and share touch, it is
usually for lovemaking.  One weekend, however,
Al arranged for a babysitter and surprised Felicia
by taking her to a couple's massage workshop
where they learned how to give each other foot
and back rubs. They've promised each other
massages at least once a week as an additional
way to connect.
Do you have to take a class to learn this?
Of course not (but it may be a fun get-away).
The two of you can just plop on the couch, focus
your attention on each other (no television but
music would be great), and get your fingers
moving in a loving way that may or may not
be headed toward love-making.
If touch always leads to love-making, try
something a little different. Just touch your
partner with the intention to connect with
each other.
Touching each other often may be going beyond your edge. It might be a caress of the shoulders as you walk by him or her doing the dishes.  It might be that you hold hands when out shopping together or at a movie.
If you are currently not in an intimate relationship,
touch is just as important--so give someone you
are close to a hug or even trade shoulder or
foot massage.
We invite you to come up with your own list
of what it might mean to go beyond your
edge. Here are some other suggestions to
get you started...
1. Try a new restaurant or new foods.
If you always go to the same type of restaurant,
try sampling different kinds of foods--or even a
different dessert. Go with a friend or your lover
and share the new experience.
Susie and a friend tried Korean food for the
first time a few months ago and had a
wonderful time sharing a new taste
2. Wear something a little different than you
might normally wear.
It might be a little beyond your edge to wear
a piece of clothing of a different color than you
normally wear or a different style.
We're not saying you have to visit Victoria
Secret but we are saying to play with
expanding who your clothes say you are.
3. Explore ways to expand and deepen love-
making and intimacy.
Allow yourself to explore books and other resources that teach new ways to be intimate with your love. There are many available that are tasteful and that can give you some good ideas about going just a little beyond your edge.
It might be something as simple as kissing more
deeply instead of your normal peck on the lips. You
might even dedicate an hour to just kissing--and
keep it interesting!
Be sure to talk with your partner about what you'd
like when it comes to this exploration and listen to
what he or she likes.
4. Open up to someone who you normally might
not be.
Talk to your partner, a friend, a family member or
someone else in your life in a way that you may
not normally do.
You might share something personal about
yourself that you normally don't share or you
might show someone how much you appreciate
him or her being in your life.
If this isn't "normal" for you, sharing about yourself and showing appreciation can be powerful ways to go beyond your edge to create deeper connections with others.
This week, we invite you to go beyond your edge,
create deeper relationships with others and spread
a little more love in the world.

For more tips on creating deeper intimacy and connection in your relationship, visit


Susie and Otto Collins
P.O. Box 14544
Columbus, Ohio 43214
(614) 459-8121


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