That Can Bring You Closer to Your Love
By Susie and Otto Collins
Are you looking for creative and meaningful ways to enhance the connection and
passion between yourself and your love? Perhaps you've been together for many
years or only a few weeks. Either way, you can use relationship rituals to move
closer to your partner and point your relationship in a direction you desire.
We all take part in rituals from time to time. These might be more formal or
complicated such as participate in the baptism of a child or the bar mitzvah of
a Jewish boy. Other rituals are probably given less thought like the act of
standing and singing the national anthem before a baseball game.
Still other rituals are so casual that you might not consider them to be rituals
at all. For example, a group of friends gather together each year to watch the
Superbowl football game together. The way in which the people come together,
carry out certain roles and share in the festivities can actually be considered
A ritual doesn't have to be religious or even spiritual in nature. While the
primary definition of the word "ritual" does pertain to a religious act,
additional descriptions of the word include the notion of a ceremony or a series
of acts that are repeatedly followed. We'd like to hone in on the ceremonial
aspect of the word here. When you make a relationship ritual, you are creating
symbolic actions or words that can be transformative to your connection.
Sue would like to feel closer to her partner Jon. While they both try to make
regular time to be alone together, it always seems like a crisis at one of their
workplaces or an issue with a member of their family gets in the way.
Although Sue knows that Jon loves her dearly, she want to re-ignite the sparks
and passion that they once shared. She's talked about this with Jon and he
is open to the idea- - he just doesn't know when they'll fit passion in.
When Sue and Jon get a chance, they plan a long weekend away together. Sue
proposes that they share some relationship rituals on their get-away. Here are a
few rituals that they shared.....
*The Completions Ritual
Sue knows that in the midst of their busy lives, there have been plenty of times
that disagreements between the two of them simply haven't been resolved. For
example, Jon admits to Sue that he still feels resentful that she chose to
attend a party at her workplace rather than go to the championship match for the
soccer league that he plays on. Deep down, Jon felt hurt and unsupported
even though he also understood Sue's reasons for making the choice she did.
Sue realizes that there are hurt feelings that she is also holding onto that are
connected to past events. They talk about what needs to about the situations
until they both feel a sense of resolution.
Since Sue and Jon are staying near a forest while on their weekend getaway, they
go on a hike for their completions ritual. They decide to stand on the top of a
cliff along the trail and shout out how they are feeling and then symbolically
let go of those emotions. In essence, they decide to give over to the rocks and
trees their old resentments allowing the wind to carry them away.
*The En-visioning Ritual
Manifesting what you want is a powerful practice. You can en-vision the kind of
relationship you want to have with your partner and incorporate manifestation.
Write down on pieces of paper or speak aloud the vision you have for the love
and connection you want with your mate. Phrase your words only in the
For example, you might declare that you two create regular and uninterrupted
time together or you might decide that you want to make love more often.
Whatever it is, state your vision in positive ways and as if you already have
Get creative and be specific. Now, put some aspect of your vision into action.
You and your partner might draw a symbol or picture of what your vision is. It
could be as simple as using a stick to draw a heart in the sand or dirt.
Whatever action you do to enact your manifestation, really focus your attention
on that symbol and feel the love that you share.
*The Vow Ritual
If you are married or have ever been married, you and your partner might have
spoken vows on your wedding day. Depending on your experience, you might
feel positively about these vows or you might not. Either way, you can re- think
the concept of vow as you create this type of relationship ritual.
Think about making agreements that will help you and your partner move closer to
the vision that you both have for your relationship. These agreements, or vows,
don't have to be "'til death do us part." Instead, they can be promises that you
make to one another.
One promise might be to stay open to making changes in your agreements as
circumstances might change in your life. Another promise might be to only agree
to what feels good to you and is something you believe you can follow through
Jon and Sue make a vow to one another that they will start making their
relationship a priority. No matter how busy they are, they both promise that
they will make regular time to be together-- at least once a week-- and really
focused in on one another during those times.
After gathering flowers and pretty stones, Jon and Sue place them upon an old
tree stump in the woods where they are staying. They speak their agreements to
each other, hold hands and kiss.
You can make your relationship rituals as formal or casual as you like. The
whole idea is to infuse a sense of symbolism and specialness into the sharing.
assist you in making completions, creating agreements or speaking your vision
for the future more powerfully. The rituals themselves can also be a means to
connect and move closer to your love.