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3 Ways to Keep Passion Alive and Sparking in Your Relationship
By Susie and Otto Collins

In a recent edition of the comic strip "9 Chickweed Lane," a couple who are in a long-term relationship together are talking-- well, the man in the relationship is talking.  He is ruminating about how after a certain period of time together, it is to be expected that passion will fade somewhat.

He goes on to say that it is "natural that one could expect little more in the relationship that will take one's breath away..."

This might be how you feel as well. After all, if you get along congenially and work as a team to run your home, finances and family, what more can you expect from your mate or your relationship?

It may seem to you that it is natural for those butterflies in the stomach and tingling in the toes moments of passion and spark to decline or die away.

We can't disagree with this expectation more!

And, so it seems, the female in the couple of the "9 Chickweed Lane" comic is in agreement with us.

As her partner reasons that nothing more in their relationship could take his breath away, she merely replies, "Oh really?" as she nudges the strap of her dress off her shoulder.

This playful and enticing response from the woman evokes a tongue- tied, breath-taking reaction from the man. The couple walk off together embracing, the man still obviously knocked off his feet.

You might be amused or even a little annoyed at the message of this comic strip. Perhaps it seems to you that the level of passion and excitement in a relationship is bound to diminish as "real life" takes over.

With bills to pay, kids to bathe and feed and a seemingly unending list of demands for your attention and energy, the last thing on your mind might be passion.

Or it could be that you really would like to feel those giddy
sensations of new love and romance again-- or at least experience
them from time to time but it just isn't happening.

We believe that no matter how long a couple has been together and regardless of their life circumstances, passionate connecting can occur. There is enough time and energy for spark-- but only if you open up to it.

The first step toward re-igniting the spark in your relationship is to give yourself permission to make this a priority.

We aren't suggesting that you stay in bed with your mate making love everyday and neglect your family, home and career.

We do recommend that you make room in your possibly crowded mind and life for intimacy and passion. Once you've offered your attention in a positive way to what you want, it is easier to take actions that will bring it into being.

3 ways to keep passion alive.
#1) Never assume...

Assumptions can be a huge damper on your relationship's spark. No matter how predictable you think your partner is or how accustomed  you are to certain ways of interacting and living, stop yourself.

Rather than jump to conclusions about what your partner says, does or what you think he or she wants, open up and ask first.

A sense of excitement can happen when you begin to see your mate not as this person "I've lived with forever," but instead as an ever-changing human being who is just waiting to be discovered and appreciated anew each and every day.

It might be as simple as asking where your mate would like to eat dinner for a date instead of heading for your usual restaurant. Or it could be more intimate, such as how (and where) your partner desires to make love that night.

Take on an openness and curiosity about your love and find out rather than assume.

#2) Keep communicating connectingly...
We can't emphasize enough how vital it is that you and your partner communicate in ways that bring you closer together.

It is nearly impossible to keep relationship spark ignited and strong when two people are communicating in ways that are confusing and disconnecting.

You and your partner might need to identify (without blame) the communication habits that simply aren't serving your relationship.  Be on the lookout for resources and examples that can help you learn how to speak to one another differently.

It is this foundation that can foster and allow a renewed sense of passion and aliveness between you two.

#3) Feed your own soul...
As you desire more spark in your love relationship or marriage you might realize that your overall feeling about your life right now is rather dull and even lifeless. It could seem that you drone on through your routine without much pep and passion, if any.

This state of being can surely spill over into your relationship.  And, thankfully, this state of being can be temporary.

You can give yourself the gift of fully living your life. You can discover what feeds your soul and then keep doing those things, living in those ways.

This gift of renewed aliveness and zest for life can most certainly spill over into your relationship.

As you and your partner support one another and celebrate the soul-enriching strides each are taking, you can move closer together and enjoy greater passion than ever before.

Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books on relationships, including "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" "No More Jealousy" "Creating Relationship Trust" "Communication Magic" and "Attracting Your Perfect Partner." In addition to having a great relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips newsletter visit or


Susie and Otto Collins
P.O. Box 14544
Columbus, Ohio 43214
(614) 459-8121

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