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"Feel All Your Feelings Deeply"
                                   by Susie and Otto Collins

During this past week while on vacation in Mexico, we read Conscious Living by Gay Hendricks. When we run across an important book, we will often read it together--taking turns reading aloud--while discussing and dissecting the main points. This is a great way to connect and to move through your lessons together.

Gay's first lesson of conscious living is feel all your feelings deeply. He says, "Always and in every moment, embrace what is real inside yourself and focus on what is real outside yourself."

This is a tough concept for anyone to master and it's just plain hard to do because no one likes to sit with pain in their life experience. We will go to any lengths to hide from our own feelings of pain and separation from ourselves, our Creator, and from others in our lives.

Everytime you reach for that box of cookies, that glass of wine, or remote control when you are angry, sad, frustrated, or lonely, stop yourself. Sit quietly, find your center, and go to that place where it's safe enough where you don't have to hide from your feelings. Really examine what's going on inside of you. Gay Hendricks suggests that when you do this process, you try to remember the first time that you felt that feeling. Where were you? What was going on? Who were you with? What conversation was going on?

 He says that by doing this you are opening your heart to all of life--the pain and the pleasure--and therefore becoming conscious in every part of your life.

This week Otto was angry at himself for unconsciously spending $185 on new sunglasses after spending two weeks studying about becoming more conscious with his finances and all areas of his life. He wasn't upset about spending the money for good quality sunglasses. He was upset that the purchase was not well thought out and not part of his financial plan.

When he realized that he was becoming quiet and withdrawn, he told Susie about his feelings and went inside himself to find out what was wrong. He discovered he just felt stupid and felt like he just blew it. 

What might have taken days or weeks of pain was resolved in a few hours. How he resolved it was to make the choice that the purchase was in the past and to let the feelings go. He also resolved to be more "awake" when making any decision.

When you consciously decide not to carry around any baggage of unexpressed feelings for any reason, you are living life more fully and more authentically. You are also creating stronger relationships with the people around you. The side benefit is that when you are real and authentic, your self esteem cannot help but flourish.

So take some time when those uncomfortable feelings arise within you. Sit with them and allow yourself to breathe and feel them. 

Don't allow yourself to miss any part of life out of fear and unexpressed painful feelings.

Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books on relationships, including "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" "No More Jealousy" "Creating Relationship Trust" "Communication Magic" and "Attracting Your Perfect Partner." In addition to having a great relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips newsletter visit or

Susie and Otto Collins
P.O. Box 14544
Columbus, Ohio 43214
(614) 459-8121

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