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"One Secret to Moving Beyond a Divorce or Breakup"
by Susie and Otto Collins

One secret to move beyond a divorce or relationship breakup is to be sure to make completions with the past.

People tend to carry around with them the words, thoughts and things they wish they could have done or not done.  This stays with them for many years and from relationship to relationship until they choose to let it go.  These "could haves" or "could not haves" hang around new relationships somewhat like ghosts and keep us separate from the love we are wanting to give and to receive. It is almost impossible to totally share love with a new partner when we hold on to those memories and old "ghosts."

You've likely noticed someone (maybe yourself) whose relationships seem to follow a similar trajectory, especially the way they end. The person might puzzle over what went wrong-- again! The potentially new direction in life was not taken and relationship lessons were not learned. In short, the person might have expected a different result but didn't see it when doing the same things over and over again.

Making completions, the little known secret of this message, is a way for you to take responsibility for your life. In making completions you acknowledge what went right and what went wrong in the process and then you symbolically end the old way of being in relationships through the steps you take.

This doesn't require you to talk with or even see your former partner and hash out what you might have said or done. Instead, you may choose to journal about the relationship and what it meant to you. It could also take the form of a ritual that you create for yourself in which you let that previous partner go.  Completions look different for every person.

In our research and work coaching people, we've found that completions are a necessary element in the process of healing after a divorce or breakup and moving on with your life. For more ideas about how to make completions in your life, check out our book--

How to Heal Your Broken Heart: The Secrets to Getting Over a Relationship Breakup or Divorce at


Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on healing from a divorce or breakup, visit

Susie and Otto Collins
P.O. Box 14544
Columbus, Ohio 43214
(614) 459-8121


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