"How to Use Completions to Move From the Past to a Promising Future"
By Susie and Otto Collins
It was almost 25 years ago that Marsha suddenly decided to end her
relationship with her lover. It wasn't until a recent coaching
session with us that she realized that she had been carrying the
guilt and pain of that broken relationship into every corner of her
life. Why? Because Marsha didn't have closure with her boyfriend, she
has guarded her heart, sabotaging every relationship since then.
What we have discovered from our own experiences and from working
with our coaching clients-in order to begin creating the life and
relationships that you want, it's often important to make
One of the challenges that most of us face is learning from the past,
appreciating it, leaving it in the past and focusing on the present
moment. Making completions in a loving way is one way to move into
the present and start moving toward what you want.
Does your life seem stuck? Are there important words that you haven't
spoken to someone? Are you still holding on to past relationships
that have ended-whether you consider them to be "failures" or not?
Are you wondering why you're not meeting a person who could be your
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, there may be some
completions that you need to make and here are some suggestions:
1. Have a long-neglected conversation with the person, either in
person or with a likeness. Our coaching client Marsha contacted her
old boyfriend and apologized to him. After she did, she felt a peace
that she had not felt for many years. If you cannot or choose not to
actually talk with that person, you can make a likeness of the person
with something like canned biscuit dough and then have the
conversation that you need to have with that likeness. In this
conversation, make sure that you thank the person for what you have
learned by being in that relationship. If possible, do this "ritual"
by a lake or river and let the likeness go in moving water, along
with those old feelings.
2. If you need to forgive yourself or the other person, take steps
toward doing so. Remember that forgiveness is always a step toward
your physical and emotional health and does not mean that you condone
what you or the other person did in the past. When you begin to
realize what you learned from that situation, you can begin to
appreciate it and to forgive.
3. Do a physical act to get rid of constant reminders of a past
relationship that keep you tied to the past. A year after Sam left
his marriage, he burned his collection of Jackson Browne CD's which
was the music that he listened to during his painful, last years of
marriage. During the burning, he let his old feelings go into the
fire. In addition to the burning, he stopped listening to that music
that was only reinforcing the pain that he had felt during his
marriage. After several years, he was able to listen to Jackson
Browne's music again without those emotional ties that had been so
painful for him.
4. Do a ceremony, giving thanks for what you learned in a previous
relationship and the blessings that it brought to you. Years ago,
after the two of us decided that we wanted to be together, we chose
to do a ceremony at a beautiful spot at the ocean on Bald Head Cliffs
in Maine. We thanked our previous spouses, sent them love, threw our
wedding rings in the ocean and made a commitment to each other. This
"Ring Toss" ceremony opened us to developing the beautiful
relationship that we have built with each other.
Completions, if done in a spirit of love, can create the space for
you to move from the past and begin attracting what you want for your
life. If you are willing to appreciate the past and let it go,
wonderful things just may be in store for you in this present moment.
Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are
Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books
on relationships, including "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" "No
More Jealousy" "Creating Relationship Trust" "Communication Magic"
and "Attracting Your Perfect Partner." In addition to having a great
relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on
love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles
like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips
newsletter visit http://www.collinspartners.com