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Susie and Otto Collins'
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"Embracing The Change Around Us after a Breakup or End of a Relationship"
by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
Whether you're 18 or 80, there's a lot to be learned about love and relationships from a new friend we made last week and here's what happened...
We attended the funeral of Otto's good friend's mother, Juanita. Before the service began, a woman sat down beside Susie and after a few minutes, she introduced herself.  Her name was Ann and she began telling Susie about her relationship with Juanita--her best friend since the first grade.
As Ann reminisced about the wonderful times with her friend, she reminded Susie that change is inevitable and to love the people who come into your life, every moment of every day.
Not only was Ann an example of love in action but she was a excellent teacher of graciously accepting the things in your life that you cannot change and moving forward.  In that moment of her own pain, she chose to focus on her belief that Juanita
was in a better place after her prolonged illness and on their good times together. 
She went on to say that she had buried two husbands, along with losing this close friend, and yet she continues to focus on the joy and love in her life.
We think that Ann is a wonderful example of how to accept change with an attitude of gratitude for what has gone before and openness to possibilities and love.
Change in our relationships and in our lives is as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening.  Most of us go through one or several breakups or lose our partner during our lifetime.
Those changes can be very painful. Here are some suggestions that we have found to be helpful for accepting change in our relationships and in our lives:
1.  Embrace "what is"
When large changes happen in our lives, sometimes we would rather avoid looking at the truth and deny that the changes are happening, instead of looking at "what is."  One woman called us a few days ago to ask for help to save her relationship.  The only problem is that her husband, who has been in counseling for 6 months, has repeatedly
asked her for a divorce. In spite of his repeated request, she seems to be holding onto a relationship that he no longer wants to be in.
We're not at all suggesting that leaving a relationship or giving up on a relationship is always the best thing to do.  In fact, we are great proponents of hope and revitalizing relationships.  We're simply pointing out that this woman seemed to not see the "writing on the wall" and to accept his wishes and this change in her life.
What we are suggesting is that in your relationships and in your life, you can always...
2.  Learn from what happened
Embrace every relationship, every moment as a learning experience waiting to happen.  Every now and then we'll lose our connection with each other and when we do, we take time to learn from what happened. We try to come up with ways to change that will make our relationship even better.   
3.  Be in gratitude for what was
Like Ann, no matter what has happened in your life and in your relationships, you can always be in gratitude for what has happened. Because the truth is that you are who you are in this moment because of your experiences, the people you've met, and the stories that have touched your life. 
We've discovered that shifting to being grateful helped ease the pain when dramatic changes rocked our lives and we think that it will do the same in yours.
4.  Look at where you are now and determine how you want to begin moving forward in your life
Whether you are in a good relationship and want to make it better, in an unhappy relationship, or not in an intimate relationship now, we suggest that you take the opportunity to determine what it is that you want.  What's one small step that you can take to move toward having what you want?  Figure out what that one small step is and do it.
We all experience change in our lives and we hope that some of these suggestions are helpful to you as you too begin to open more to possibilities and to love. 

If you are interested in more information to help you heal from your relationship breakup, visit


Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books on relationships, including "How to Heal Your Broken Heart," "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" "No More Jealousy" "Creating Relationship Trust" "Communication Magic" and "Attracting Your Perfect Partner." In addition to having a great relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips newsletter visit or


Susie and Otto Collins
P.O. Box 14544
Columbus, Ohio 43214
(614) 459-8121


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