in Your Relationships
by Susie And Otto
This week we joined the 20-something masses and
attended a Dave Mathews Band concert. They played a song called,
"Ants Marching" and we felt like the lyrics really told the
story of a lot of relationships and lives.
In his song, Dave depicts the average life and the
average relationship. "He wakes up in the morning, Does his teeth,
Bite to eat and he's rolling. Never changes a thing. The week ends, the
week begins. She thinks, we look at each other Wondering what the other is
thinking But we never say a thing And these crimes between us grow deeper. Take these chances. Place them in a box until a quieter time.
Lights down, you up and die."
What Dave's really saying in his blunt way is that
most of us in our relationships aren't willing to speak our truth about
our thoughts and we end up taking these thoughts, unspoken, to our graves.
The great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar talks about
the tragedy of people going to their graves with their music still in
them--not living their lives to the fullest.
If you want your relationships to be
"real," alive and powerful, we suggest the concept of spiritual
partnership. A spiritual partnership is not about religion--it's about two
people coming together, using their relationship as a venue to heal, learn
How is a spiritual partnership different from other
types of relationships?
In a spiritual partnership, (this can be any
relationship) each partner is committed to telling the truth, and not
holding back, however painful it might be. The relationship
is alive, growing, and filled with passion because of constant
communication and being willing to tackle issues as they arrive.
Each partner can be himself or herself--with no hiding.
This concept was introduced to the masses by Gary
Zukav's book "Seat of the Soul."
We were dramatically impacted by this concept and it has changed
our lives forever.
So how often are you not living your truth in
relationships? What is the underlying fear that comes up for you when you
think about telling your truth? We all have relationships
where we don't feel safe enough to be open and honest. Those relationships
are dead and aren't going anywhere.
We've found that Steven Covey's phrase, "Old
resentments never die--they just get buried alive and come up later in
uglier ways," is so true. Haven't you had that happen
in your life? If you just
bury a hurt feeling or misunderstanding, it just comes up later in another
situation or with another person as misplaced anger.
So we have found that the only way to create
outstanding relationships of all kinds is to have open, honest
communication at all times and by doing it in such a way that the other
person can hear your truth.
This is tough. But
what is tougher is having a relationship that is mired in unspoken issues.
Do what Susan Jeffers suggests, "Feel the fear and do it
anyway." When you do,
your relationships will be more real and honest.
So we challenge you this week to choose a
relationship or situation that needs to be healed and tackle just one
small issue that stands in the way of a more harmonious relationship.
If you do, you'll be one step closer to forming a
great spiritual partnership with that other person.
Susie and Otto Collins are married, life partners who are
Relationship and Life Success Coaches, and authors of several books
on relationships, including "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" "No
More Jealousy" "Creating Relationship Trust" "Communication Magic"
and "Attracting Your Perfect Partner." In addition to having a great
relationship, they regularly write, speak and conduct seminars on
love, relationships and personal growth. To read more free articles
like this or to sign up for their free online relationship tips
newsletter visit http://www.collinspartners.com