Susie and Otto
Love and Relationships Resources
Making Tips and Passion Secrets
Passion Secrets for Busy Couples
By Susie and Otto Collins
Does it seem that there's simply no time for the passion and
intimate connecting that you'd like to have in your love
Perhaps you and your mate squeeze in date nights from time to time,
but the demands of both of your careers, kids, extended families and
home chores seem to make those date nights a rarity.
Countless couples find themselves in a similar situation to this.
They may want to keep the spark between them alive and red hot, but
it just doesn't happen-- or it seems too indulgent to take time away
from other responsibilities for passion.
But then those same couples become disconnected and distant from one
another. One day, they look at their relationship and have a
difficult time remembering what it was like to be excited about
The love might even die for one or both of them.
Passion is the rich, gooey and sweet center of the "cookie" that is
your marriage or love relationship. Notice your desire for it, savor
it and keep it re-plenished.
Sara's life is non-stop. When she's not working her two part-time
jobs, she is driving her kids from place to place. It truly seems
miraculous when Sara, her husband Pete and their three growing
children are all sitting down together for a meal.
But in the midst of all of this hustle and bustle, Sara feels dull
and restless. She misses the days-- before kids, car payments and a
mortgage-- when Pete would take her in his arms for no reason at all
and kiss her deeply and passionately.
Make passion as important as other things...
We know, you have responsibilities. You need to earn money and care
for your children and your home so that basic needs are met.
While keeping the spark alive in your relationship is not as basic a
need as having a roof over your head and food to eat, it is quite
significant and absolutely should not be pushed to the side.
The preferred intensity of passionate connecting is different for
everyone. What feels red hot to you, may not appeal to another
person (or couple).
If you are yearning for more passion in your relationship, take some
time to figure out what that might look like for you.
What are some
of your favorite relationship intimacy memories? What are some
things that you and your partner have never done but you fantasize
You could re-create some of these same ways of connecting with your
partner as you remember. You could also experiment with new ways to
tap into passion.
Ask yourself what renewed passion would look like in your
relationship and then make it as important as everything else that's
at the "top of your list."
We aren't asking you to be irresponsible with your kids, your job or
in any way. We are encouraging you to make your relationship
connection as significant as these other things.
Open your mind to the possibility that there IS more than enough
time and energy for everything you want to do...including intimate
connecting with your partner.
Free yourself in those passionate moments...
Sara has been having a great time remembering the way that she and
Pete used to be together-- those days when they stayed in bed all
day, held hands and were so focused in on what they each were
She knows that their life together is very different now, but she
also believes that there are aspects of that past passion that they
could rekindle. Sara makes some phone calls and arranges a surprise
dinner home alone for just she and Pete for that night.
No matter how busy you are, when the possibility for passion arises,
dive right in!
If you have kids, busy careers, and who knows what else going on,
you might have to be creative and flexible. Don't use anything else
as an excuse not to fully experience the intimate and connecting
moments that are available to you.
And if there don't seem to be passionate moments available to you,
When you find yourself alone with your mate, make a deliberate
decision to let go of your busy thinking too. Nothing kills the mood
more than a distracted mate.
Free yourself whenever a passionate moment happens so that you are
fully present and engaged. Have fun and allow moments like this to
turn into a habit.
Susie and Otto Collins are
Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that
are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on
turning up the heat in your love relationship, sign up for their
free mini-course at
Susie and Otto Collins
P.O. Box 14544
Columbus, Ohio 43214
© 2005 Susie and Otto Collins. All Rights Reserved.