Intimacy Clues that He May Be Cheating
By Susie and Otto Collins
Christy's husband Pete has been so distant and odd the past few
months. She was beginning to wonder if he is having an affair.
They have drifted apart over the last 3 years-- mainly because both
of their careers are very demanding. Christy had started to believe
that Pete was cheating, but he's also become so much more
adventurous in the bedroom.
Pete has never made love to Christy like this before. She doesn't
know what to think about all of these changes. Even with the new
life in their lovemaking, she still feels disconnected from Pete.
Her suspicions that he is having an affair are still very present in
Does the way that a man makes love to his partner give any
indication about his fidelity or infidelity?
You might think that if a couple is still having sexual relations
with one another, all has to be well in their relationship.
Unfortunately, this isn't always the case.
Sometimes, a man will actually initiate sex more often with his
partner when he's also having an affair!
In other cases, the man will withdraw his attentions-- sexual and
otherwise-- from his mate when he is cheating.
It can really go either way.
And, of course, women also have affairs. The same possibility of
them becoming more active with their partner sexually or less active
sexually as they are having affairs also occurs.
If you suspect that your man is cheating, look for differences.
Perhaps you are delighted that your man is initiating lovemaking
with you more than he was before.
This could mean that whatever pulled him away in the past-- whether
it was another woman, thoughts about other women or something
completely different-- is no longer an issue.
Your man's renewed interest in making love with you could certainly
indicate that he has inwardly resolved whatever was previously
coming between you two.
It could also mean that he's feeling guilty because he's having an
affair. Turning to you for sex more often is his way of relieving
some guilt...or trying to cover up the infidelity.
Pay close attention to all of your partner's behaviors-- in the
bedroom and out.
If he tended to be more reserved when you are intimate with one
another and now he is more daring and adventurous, make note of
If he tended to touch and caress you often and now he rarely does
this, make note of it.
If he tended to be a gentle lover and now he is rougher and more
distant, make note of it.
Just because your man is now more adventurous or less adventurous,
gentler or less gentle when you make love, it does not necessarily
mean that he is cheating.
And it does not necessarily mean that is NOT cheating either.
What you need to really look at is if he is treating you
significantly differently or acting unusually and you aren't sure
Keep a private record of the differences you notice and base your
determination of whether or not he's cheating on that full record.
If you truly suspect he's cheating, don't take chances with your
health and well-being.
If you believe that your man is displaying clues that he may be
having an affair, take a step back and really examine those clues.
Could there be other distractions or upsets going on within him or
between the two of you that are contributing to the differences and
distance you are noticing?
Do you have a history of being jealous? If so, make certain that you
are truly seeing what you are seeing in this relationship right now.
After these closer looks at your suspicions, if you are still
concerned that your man may be cheating, we advise you to make a
careful decision about how intimate you are willing to be with him.
You don't have to abruptly leave this relationship (unless you are
ready to), in order to keep yourself healthy and well.
You might decide to take a break from having sexual relations with
your partner for a certain amount of time. You could explain this to
him by saying that you're "trying to figure some things out within
yourself," that you "need some space" or something honest yet vague.
If you do choose to continue having sex with your man and you are
worried that he is cheating, please request that he begin to use a
condom and employ other safe sex methods.
You might also suggest that you both have a medical professional
test you for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
While it may feel awkward to make requests like these, we urge you
to make your health and well-being a priority.
As you take these precautions, continue to look at the differences
in his behavior-- in the bedroom and out. Follow up on the questions
you have until you know for sure whether or not he's having an
For more advice and suggestions for how to tell if you're man is
lying and cheating, sign up for
Susie and Otto's
FREE report: "12 Relationship-Killing Mistakes You Could Be Making
If You Suspect That Your Man is Lying and Cheating."
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto
of Should You Stay or Should You Go? and No More
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